Its Only Forever, Not Long At All
by Lesbian Vampire Killer
Summary: Well, all i can say is its the last 3 books in one but slightly different. It starts and the end of Twilight. And if your a Jacob lover i recommend you read it.
1. His Bloodlust, My Stupidity

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I do, however, own a copy of the book :)**

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I knew it would be difficult to make my escape. I was certain Alice knew I was leaving and Jasper could probably sense my mood, worry. I'd spent all morning planning my escape route. I knew this airport fairly well, all the elevators, emergency exits and fire exits. Eventually, I found my escape; there was a fire exit next to the girl's toilet, I'd use that. I glanced at the clock; I needed to leave, fast. It was already 10; I had two hours left to save my mom.

It felt awful, knowing what I was doing. Betraying him, all of them, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmet, Alice. Edward. But I had to save my mom, would they understand that? Would they know that was the reason behind this stupidity?

"I'm going to use the toilet" I told Alice as I got up and started walking off in the direction of the loos. Jasper was behind me in a matter of seconds, but that didn't interfere with my plan, he'd never see me go through the fire exit. While we were walking, at an alarmingly slow pace, I took a sideways glance at Jasper, for the first time, I actually saw fear in his eyes. But this was no time for second guesses. I was saving my mom, and I was doing it alone. He looked at me and we stared at each other for a moment, the fear visible in both of us. He half smiled and then looked away. I looked at him once more and then walked through the double doors in front of me, then I started running, straight for the fire exit in front of me. Would they know I was gone yet? Would they come looking for me? Once outside I stopped for a moment to breathe in the air around me and then ran for a taxi.

I gave the driver my moms address and we were on our way. All I could think about was Edward the whole way there, if I was going to die today, my last memories would be with him. I thought about us, in our meadow. The sun reflecting off his skin. His speed, his perfection. He was perfect in everyway, and he was mine. Would he ever forgive me? I could feel the tears welling up and I was sure the driver noticed too. And so I closed my eyes and thought about my, Edward.

"Here we are love" the taxi driver's voice brought me back to reality, "how much?" I asked, unsure how much money I had, he must of sensed my hesitation,_ or thought I was going to burst out in tears any time soon_, because his reply was, "don't worry about it, this one was free"

"Thank you" and with that I was gone, running down the street and to my moms door. I took the key from the hanging basket and opened the door, it smelt as fresh as always, a hint of lemon zest in the air, just like my mom, always cleaning. I walked to the front room, and there on the table was a folded piece of paper. And sure enough, on that piece of paper was a number. _His_ number. I attempted to dial the number twice before realising it was my hand making me dial wrong, my hand was shaking uncontrollably. I took one deep breath and concentrated on each individual number. He answered on the first ring.

"I'm impressed Bella, that was fast" he breathed down the phone, my head started to whirl and I could feel the nausea creeping up on me. I steadied myself and replied.

"Hello James" my voice was barely even a whisper, but I knew he could hear me.

"Oh sorry, how rude of me, hello Bella. Now, do you remember your old dance studio?"

"Yes" I breathed knowing if I raised my voice my fear would become obvious, he didn't need to know I was scared, I didn't want him to be able to feed on my fear.

"Good, no need for directions then. You have 10 minutes. Your mummy is counting on you"

And with that he hung up, I dropped the phone to the floor not bothering to put it back on its stand and ran, out the door, to the end of the street and onto the next street till I stopped right inn front of the dance studio.

I pressed against the metal bar in front of me and the door opened into a huge lobby, I walked across the spongy carpet till I reached the door that read 'ballet'. Aware of what awaited on the other side I took one last deep breath and opened the door.

I heard my mom's voice, "Bella, Bella? Where are you Bella?" "Mom!" I screamed, running in the direction of her voice. I stopped, there in front of me was a VCR, repeating the same section of an old family video. Anger ripped through me, pulsing through my blood and the tears gushed out in waterfalls. My mom was safe, still in Florida, but I would be killed here today, for no reason; I'd cause so much hurt and pain for nothing. Would they ever forgive me? Could they ever forgive me?

A laugh from behind me knocked me out of my trance. I spun round and there, leaning against a mirror opposite was James. I hadn't even noticed him there when I came in. His eyes narrowed, "I'm very disappointed Bella. This will be all too easy; it's no fun when your food gives itself up"

I scowled at him, aware that it wouldn't change my coming fate.

"They'll come for you" I spat at him, unsure whether my words carried any truth.

"Oh, I know. I'm counting on that. Maybe your boyfriend should die too, give you some company" His eyes were menacing, there was nothing but pure bloodlust in his face.

"No! Not Edward! Please no!" I was on my knees now, the tears coming faster.

"Would you rather be alone?" His voice held no guilt, no remorse, just pure hunger.

I got up and steadied myself. Looking at James and then to the emergency exit, I made a run for it. Just as I reached the door I felt a blow to my chest that knocked all the breath out of me, I flew across the room until I hit a mirror, my head cracked against it and I could feel the glass shards piercing the skin on my back and head. My head started spinning. He was walking toward me now, I vicious smile on his face. He jumped into the air and before my eyes could follow him he landed, I heard a snap and then the pain rushed through me. I let out a scream and looked down to see my leg was completely distorted. I let out a scream, knowing it was all I could do, then my head was smashed against the mirror behind me, I felt the glass slicing further into my head, then I smelt the blood as it oozed down my neck. I looked up to see there were now to people stood in front of me, fighting.

"Edward!" I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I took one last breath and the overwhelming scent of blood overthrew me, everything went black as my head hit the floor.

I must have been in heaven. I could hear voices, the most beautiful voices I'd ever heard. They could only be the voices of angels. Then I heard the voice I was searching for, "Bella? Can you hear me Bella? I love you. Stay with me Bella please"

It was my very own angel, Edward. Did James get him too? No, please no. I tried to open my eyes but the overwhelming pain rushed through my body all at once and I was knocked back out of consciousness. When I next came round all I could do was scream, the pain took over all my other senses. I wasn't dead. The pain was to strong. I could feel a cold grip on my hands and then I heard Edwards voice, "Bella love, its ok, your going to be fine. I love you Bella" I still couldn't opened my eyes. They were matted with blood. I could taste it on my lips. Then I heard Carlisle's voice, "I need to get the glass out, do you think you could lift her up without disturbing her leg?" was he talking to Edward? My question was soon answered when the reply was my angel's voice "I think I can".

I felt myself being lifted off the ground, pain rushed through my leg, but I clenched my teeth together to hold my scream back. I could feel the shards of glass slowly being pulled from my head and more blood oozed down my forehead and neck, the scent was so overwhelming, nausea hit and I turned my head to a side to vomit. I heard it splash on the floor and felt I little relieved that it hadn't hit anyone. The pain had calmed down and I felt ready to speak, "I love you Edward" my voice was faint, but he heard me. "I love you too Bella, forever" more pain pulsed through me and I was unconscious again.


	2. Relief, Or More Pain?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but that time of day is rather pleasant don't ya think?**

I opened my eyes to a bright light creeping through beige blinds, I looked around at the white walls and breathed in the fumes of disinfectant. I tried to sit up but the pain pulled me back down. A sharp gasp escaped my lips and I instantly felt his cold hands on mine. "Bella, are you ok? What is it?" His voice was beautiful, relief spread through me, he was alive and he was here, with me. "Edward!" I screeched wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, ignoring the pain that was screaming at me from my ribs; it was no surprise that my ribs were probably broken. I remembered that blow to the ribs that flung me across the room and winced at the memory. Edward looked at me, worried, "Are you ok Bella? What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Just my ribs. I love you Edward"

"Oh Bella. I love you too. Forever"

"I'm so sorry Edward, please forgive me, I thought he had my mum, I had to save her. I'm sorry."

"Sshh Bella, it's fine. You're alive. There's nothing to forgive."

His eyes were relieved then. His eyes narrowed on my mouth and his lips touched mine. My head whirled and the heart monitor beside us went silent. He pulled away and his lips moved up to my forehead while I remembered how to breathe. His lips brushed my forehead, my cheeks, he kissed every inch of my neck and I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins, getting hotter as I started to sweat. I couldn't wait anymore, I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him with more force then my body cold really handle. The heart monitor gave that away, jumping around as I started to hyperventilate. Edward pulled away, much too soon and I was lied on the bed staring at his now torn, expression. "Edward? What is it?" I was worried now, and my voice started to break.

"I hurt you" I was shocked at this statement, what was he talking about?

"No, Edward, I'm fine. Honestly, you didn't hurt me. You just overwhelm me a little sometimes" I felt my cheeks blush as the heat rushed to them and his dazzling smile overwhelmed me further. He looked at the heart monitor, "That could be a problem"

"More than likely, but I'm sure I can spare a few heartbeats if I get to be close to you"

"He laughed and then looked serious again.

"Alice is coming; she's been hysterical the whole time we've been here. She's so worried about you. She thinks it's her fault"

"Oh no, it's not her fault, its mine. Stupid me. How long have I actually been here?"

"Errm, about 3 days"

"3 days?!" how could I have been unconscious for 3 days?

"Well, they had to give you a lot of morphine, you wouldn't stop screaming. Everyone was so worried. You've got a broken leg, three broken ribs and 23 stitches in the back of you head, so you should probably take it easy for a few months"

And with that, Alice burst through the door. A tortured expression on her face.

"Bella!" She wailed, sounding relieved.

"Hey Alice"

"Bella, I'm so glad your ok. I was so worried. Don't ever do that again!" Edward moved from the chair beside me to let Alice sit down.

"I'm sorry Alice. I love you."

I love you too Bella, but please don't scare me like that again"

"I won't, don't worry. But didn't you know where I was going?" I was confused, if she knew I was going and where I was going, why was she so worried?

"Not exactly, I saw what was going to happen to you, but I didn't have a clue where you were. I had to presume it was the dance studio. Edward got there before any of us and pulled James off you before he..." I heard Edward snarl from the corner and Alice stopped what she was saying and moved on to something else.

"Well, you have a lot of healing to do. There was a lot of blood. And don't worry about the burned down dance studio, or evidence of your fall, I've got it all sorted" she grinned, "all you need to know is that u fell out a hotel window. Everything else is sorted. We were never at the dance studio" I had to hand it to her; she knew what she was doing.

"Well your going to be asleep in less then 10 minutes so I best get going. I'll see you back in Forks Bella"

"Bye Alice" I shouted as she danced out the door. Then Edward was back at my side, his expression unreadable.

"Are you ok Edward?" I asked, my voice breaking on the last word. He looked up at me and smiled, "I'm just glad you're here" but I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Me too. But I am here because of you, you saved me, if it wasn't for you I'd be, well, I wouldn't be here" is expression was torn now.

"It's my fault you're here, in this state, broken. If I hadn't of been around you wouldn't of had to go through this, the pain, fear, worry. It's entirely my fault and I feel so ashamed I can't believe I brought this on you. Why couldn't I of just stayed away."

I almost started crying, hurt by his words. I held the tears back and stared into his eyes. "Edward. You're the reason I'm alive, the reason I'm here, getting better. The reason I'm happy. Don't ever be ashamed of that Edward. I've never been more grateful for your presence then right now, here."

I felt a little flushed after that but I stared into Edward's beautiful eyes and whispered to him, "I love you Edward"

He looked at me, "I love you too Bella, forever". He stood up, leaned in closer to me and gently kissed me on the lips, my heart skipped a beat, _or two_, and then returned back to its normal rate as his lips left mine. He sat back down and stroked the back of my hand. I yawned and turned to smile at him, he smiled back and said, "Sleep Bella love"

I didn't want to sleep, what if he wasn't there when I woke up?

"I don't want to sleep"

He looked at me, empathy on his face, "I promise you I'll still be right here when you wake up. I'm always going to be right next to you, for as long as you want me to be"

My eyes started to feel heavy and I let my sub conscious take me, drifting into a deep slumber.

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	3. Jacob Black, Is That You?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but i'd sure like too**

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He was stood in my front door way in a black tuxedo, which must have been expensive. All I could do was stare at him. He was a perfect sculpture of beauty, and he was _mine_. I started to walk down the stairs, slowly, I didn't have a cast on anymore, but I wasn't going to risk falling down the stairs. I saw Edward staring at me and remembered what Alice had dresses me in. A low cut, floor length, midnight blue silk gown with matching silver heels, _another reason I was being careful on the stairs,_ my hair was down, ringlets hanging down my back and across my shoulders, I had insisted Alice put very little make up on me and she's agreed, only putting on some mascara and dark blue eye shadow. But with all this to a side, I still couldn't believe they were doing this to me. Prom! I'd tried explaining to them that I can't dance, they just repeated the same line, "stop worrying Bella, everything is going to go great" I mimicked Alice's voice in my head. I reached the bottom of the stairs and Edward held out his hand for me. Charlie came out from the kitchen and froze where he stood. "Wow Bells, you look stunning"

"Thanks Dad, but I think Edward looks much better."

Edward looked at me and shook his head, "Bella, have you seen yourself, you look beautiful, amazing even."

"He's right Bells, you do"

I blushed and looked at Edward, "Should we get going?" I was relieved at his reply, "Yes" then he glanced at Charlie, "I'll look after her Charlie don't worry" Edward must have heard something in his thoughts, Charlie just grunted at him and looked at me, "Cya Bells"

"Bye Dad"

Once we were in the car I turned to Edward, "Why am I doing this again?"

Edwards reply left me speechless, "Because you love me", I really couldn't argue with that.

The prom was held in the school gym, it was, after all, the biggest room in Forks. I couldn't help but laugh at the decorations, there was an archway over the double-door entrance wrapped in silk ribbon and twinkling lights, the walls were decorated with balloons strung together. There was a DJ tucked away in the corner and several large speakers spread around the room. Along the back wall was a long table covered in food, and along the side wall a similar table for drinks. Whirling around the middle of the room, surrounded by shocked students were Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie. The surrounding students were no surprise to me, I'd of been there too if, stood by my side, there wasn't someone much more perfect. Before I knew it I was dancing next to them, everyone staring at me, as I whirled round I noticed some friend's faces, Angela and Ben, Jess, Mike, Tyler. I smiled at them as I spun round, unsure whether they would see my face. It occurred to me then, that somehow, I was dancing, and hadn't fallen flat on my face yet. I felt Edwards's feet beneath mine and realised why. I stretched my neck up till my lips reached his ear and whispered, "I love you". He looked down at me, grinning, "That's why we're here" and his lips brushed my forehead. Someone else walked into the gym then, I knew who it was instantly by Edwards's rigid posture, but when I turned round I didn't recognize the boy in front of me. He smiled at me, probably seeing the confusion in my face, "Hey Bells", his voice was deep, almost manly, but he was just 16?

"Jacob Black, is that you?"

"Yep, sure is"

"But you're so tall?" Is it possible to grow that much in a few months?

"Yer, 6 foot two, guess I had a growth spurt" He sounded too confident.

"Yer! A big one!"

He turned to look at Edward now, "Mind if I cut in?"

I was shocked at the hostility in his voice, but thought nothing of it. Edward looked at me and then turned to Jacob, "Yes" and then he walked off to wear the rest of his family now stood, his voice had sounded so cold, did I miss something?

"I believe that means I get to dance with you Bells" Jacob was looking at me now, bewildered by my distance.

"Oh, yer, sorry, I put my hands on his shoulders, being barely able to reach he picked me up and put me on his feet like Edward had. He put his hands on my waist and we started to turning. His hands were so warm, it was freezing in here, things weren't adding up here. I looked up at him to see he was staring right into my eyes, a love sick expression on his face. "Wow Bells, you look really pretty tonight."

I could feel myself blushing. Jacob shouldn't have this effect on me should he? "Thanks, you don't look to bad yourself." I looked down at him, he was wearing black trousers with a shirt and tie, looking surprisingly good. I suddenly felt, overwhelmed, Jacobs smooth hands on my waist, the warmth of his body as I was pressed against him, his smouldering voice… what was I talking about? I shouldn't feel like this. It was wrong. I shook the thoughts from my head and looked back at him, "What brings you here then?"

He hesitated for a moment, then looked guilty, "Well my dad sent me really, he said he'd buy me parts for my car." I knew what was coming, some more superstitious worries. "Oh, ok."

"I'm sorry Bells, I can tell him he's a stupid old man if you want, but he told me to tell you, "We'll be watching"" I was expecting as much, Billy clearly had it in for the Cullens.

"Tell him I said thanks for his concern but I can take care of myself"

"Will do Bells. Do you think _he'll_, mind if I have one more dance?" he said looking in Edwards direction, his voice almost as cold as Edwards had been less than 10 minutes ago.

"I guess one more dance wouldn't hurt."

A wide grin spread over his face and he presses me closer to his warm body. I could feel the heat through his clothes, "Hey Jacob, why are you so warm? Are you ill?" He stopped turning and looked at me, "No Bells I'm not ill, just hot is all" He winked at me and carried on dancing. Was he flirting with me? My pulse started to pick up and I could feel the heat coursing through my body, I was relieved when the song finished and Edward walked up to us. Jacob looked at Edward, expressionless, and then back to me, he smiled, "I think I've outstayed my welcome, I'll see you around Bella, you should come to La Push sometime, I miss you."

"I'll will Jacob don't worry. Make sure Billy gets you those parts" He waved and then he was out the door and I was dancing with Edward again.


	4. Did That Really Just Happen

**Don't you just love Jacob?**

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It had been 10 minutes now and Edwards's posture was still like a rock, "Edward, are you ok?" He looked at me then, his expression softened and he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Yes, I'm fine. Some people's thoughts are just very inappropriate sometimes." Oh, I understood now, Jacob, "What was he thinking about?" I already knew the answer before I asked the question, "You"

"Me?" I obviously hadn't fooled him.

"Yes, you! I can't believe I actually let you dance with him, his thoughts were just vulgar, and thee worst part is, he thought it all for my benefit, he knew I could here everything in his head. And, he called you _pretty_, pretty? The nerve of him. You are far more than pretty!"

"Back up a second, did you just say he knew you were listening? How could he possibly know that?" Now, I was very confused.

"Yes, he is supposed to be just as much of a secret as we are. But he won't have told you about it, he's not allowed." Edward had a triumphant look on his face now, as though he was pleased with himself.

"Edward, I'm not sure I'm following you" Then he looked up as if someone had called him.

"I think its time to get you home Bella, love" It looked like I wasn't getting any answers tonight, and I was too tired to argue, I'd just ask again tomorrow.

"Errm, ok. Why? What time is it?"

"About 2 in the morning Bella" That was a shock, where did all the time go?

"Oh, I didn't realise it was so late" I let out one big yawn, and Edward pulled me out the door and lifted me into his Volvo.

I must have fallen asleep in the car because I only faintly remembered Edward carrying me to my room. That was the first night I dreamt of Jacob, the heat from his body pressing against me, his warm breath against my lips, his smooth hands.

I woke wrapped in Edwards's arms. Last nights dream was definitely not worth mentioning and if I'd given much away during my sleep, he probably wasn't going to mention it either. It took me a while before I could talk, there was a strange feeling overwhelming me that I couldn't quite identify. Plus, I felt absolutely wretched about last night's dream, why was _I _dreaming about _Jacob Black_? Once I'd got my thoughts together I looked up at Edwards beautiful face, he was staring straight at me, "Morning beautiful" he breathed, I wrapped my arms tighter around him and stretched my lips to his. He moved away at first, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand, then his face approached mine and our lips met. His kiss sent fear through me, this was not a normal kiss, it was too forceful, I remembered this kiss, it was the kiss he gave me when he thought he was going to lose me. I shuddered at the thought and pushed it to the back of my mind. Edward felt me shudder and pulled away, much too soon as usual.

"I love you" was all I could say. He looked at me and smiled,

"I have to go home and get changed, do you think you'll be ok for an hour?"

"Yer, I'm sure I can find someway to preoccupy myself, breakfast maybe?" I was very hungry.

"Ok, I'll be back very soon. I love you" And with that he was gone, out my window.

I went straight to the bathroom for a shower. As the water ran over all the curves on my body I couldn't help but think about last night. How could Jacob have gotten so tall? Why was his body so warm? And then all the feelings came flooding back to me. Jacob, me pressed against has body, his hands on my waist. My pulse instantly sped up. _No_, I couldn't think about Jacob this way. I had Edward, and he was all I'd ever need. I put the Jacob feelings away to the back of my head and avoided thinking about him. I went back to my room in my towel, I sat on the stool next to my desk and started drying my hair. My thoughts drifted off, to last year, when I first met Edward, he was so impossibly perfect even then, and he was so much more now. I thought about our meadow again. And how it would always be our place. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Edward come in through the window. I was completely unaware of his presence until he chuckled from the corner. I spun round them to look at him, "I think I need a human moment, I'll be back in a minute" I picked up some clothes on my way out and walked to the bathroom. In the bathroom I sat on the cold floor, so many thoughts flooding through my mind, I began hyperventilating and the tears built up till I couldn't hold them in anymore. I'd managed to get dressed, it was difficult to see just how terrible I looked through my bloodshot eyes, but I was curled up on the bathroom floor crying when Edward found me. He lifted me up and took me back to my room. He sat on my bed with me curled up on his lap and he hummed my lullaby while I cried an ocean.

I cried for 3hours. Once I had finished my face was swelled up, my eyes puffy and tears streamed down my face, not to mention the huge wet patch on Edwards's shirt. When I felt confident enough to talk I turned to look at Edward, "I am so sorry you had to see that" he kissed my forehead and then whispered, "I'm sorry" I was shocked at his remark. _He_ was sorry? What on earth could _he_ possibly be sorry for? "You're sorry? Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong?"

"I did though, I brought all this on you, this whole nightmare world, if I wasn't here you wouldn't have to go through all the pain." His face held a tortured expression, "No. Don't ever think like that. This isn't your fault, I swear to you." I was pleading with him now, why did he always find someway to blame himself? This was _my _fault. _I_ was a terrible person. _I_ was hurting _him_. He looked at me now, his expression calm, "I love you Bella, my Bella"

"I love you too Edward, I'll always be yours"

"I have to go away for a few days Bella, I need to hunt and Carlisle, Jasper and I have something to sort out. But Alice will be here, with Esme, and Rosalie, and Emmet. I promise you'll be safe." There was something in his eyes I didn't recognise. It sent a shiver right through my body. "How long will you be gone?" It hit me then that this wasn't any normal hunting trip.

"I'm not sure Bella, a week, two weeks? I don't know for sure, but I promise you I'll be back" The tears started to well up again, it wasn't long till they over flowed. He scooped me up in to his arms and kissed me, for longer than usual, then he set me down on my bed. "I love you Edward" I managed to whisper through my sobs, he sat down next to me and stroked my face, "I love you too Bella, I promise you, I will be back" and then he left, and I had no clue whether I'd see him again.


	5. Guilty Pleasure

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. And I also, do not own this chapter, of my _own _story. **

**Its true, i sold this chapter to my good friend, whom wishes they could own Jacob Black, but who doesn't, ey?**

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I sat there for what must have been hours, tears streaming down my face until I was completely empty of them. It wasn't until I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the drive that I realised how late it was. I was in the kitchen starting dinner by the time Charlie actually made it into the house, "Bells?"

"In here Dad!" I called from the kitchen. He walked in and sat on the kitchen chair, "What's cooking Bells?" he was grinning now, he obviously had good news. "Chicken casserole Dad" I told him as I took it out of the oven. "Oooh, my favourite" He was obviously in a good mood. I plated up his dinner and put it down on the table then sorted mine and sat down opposite him. He had a few mouthfuls before looking at me,

"Hey Bells"

"Yes Dad"

"I was talking to Billy Black today" _Oh god no_. "Really? About what?"

"He said Jacobs been asking about you, he wants to know if you'll go see them. I really think you should Bells, you haven't seen Jacob in so long, he misses you, you know, poor boy" _What was I going to do? _Could I go see Jacob? Or would it be a disaster in the making?

"I'll drive down after dinner and say hi" _What was I saying? This wasn't like me at all. _I couldn't go see Jacob, _alone. _This definitely pleased Charlie, he was grinning stupidly, the way he did when he got his own way. Charlie wasn't big on the whole me and Edward idea, he blames Edward for me leaving, no doubt Edward blamed himself too.

"Good, it's about time you got a social life Bells, you spend all your time with _him _these days." He used the same tone Jacob had used at the prom, cold and lifeless.

"Ok Dad, I'll go see him"

I left the room then, I ran up the stairs to my room to get changed. I suppose seeing Jacob might be a good thing. It could take my mind off everything with Edward. I dug through my wardrobe trying to find an outfit to wear, in the end I chose my favourite jeans and a tight red blouse. I know it was a bit over the top but, if I was going to take my mind off things I was going to try and have fun doing it. Maybe I could find out some more of this secrecy thing, or his hostility towards Edward. I Walked out the house shouting bye to Charlie as I left and jumped into my truck. The drive to La Push wasn't too long, about 15 minutes. It gave me enough time to think over what I was doing. By the time I pulled up outside the Blacks house I was pretty sure I had enough self control for one night. Jacob was at the door before I'd even stopped the truck; the sound of its engine roaring was probably familiar to him. He walked down the path to meet me as I got out, a huge grin on his face, the same as I'd seen on Charlie's face just half an hour earlier. What was with everyone lately? I was obviously missing something. "Hey Jake" I said as I got out the truck.

"Hey Bells, Charlie rang and said you were on your way. It's so great to see you Bells, I didn't think he'd let you come." I ignored that remark, "It's great to see you too Jake"

"Lets go inside, you must be freezing stood out here" I examined his body, just once, "Says you, your stood out here topless" I couldn't help but look again, his bare chest was almost as perfect as Edwards. "I don't get cold Bells, red hot me" he winked at me, was he flirting again? _Was it working?_ I just laughed at him and rolled my eyes. He took my hand and led me inside. He stopped outside the front room, "It's Bella Dad" I peered round the corner to wave at Billy, "Hello Bella, it's good to see you", _why was everyone so freaking happy to see me? _"Thanks, it's good to see you too"

Jacob walked down the narrow corridor to what I presumed was his room, so I followed. His room was relatively small, there was a window against the back wall - the curtains were still drawn – a bed against the side and a wardrobe on the opposite side. He sat down on his bed and patted it beside him for me to sit down. I sat down hesitantly and crossed my legs. "No need to be so tense Bells" maybe I was a bit to tense. I loosened up a little and leaned back against his wall.

"So, how are things with you Jacob?"

"Pretty good actually, how about you Bells? You look like you haven't slept in weeks." Did I look that bad?

"That's probably true, to a certain extent, I'm fine, just stressed"

"If you need to get away from it all you can always spend the night here" At this moment in time, that offer was pretty convincing. "Thanks, I might take you up on that" I did need to get away from it all, it's not like I'd be doing anything terribly wrong.

"I sure hope you do Bells" he sounded pleased, but I didn't read too much into it.

For the next few hours we talked endlessly about anything and everything, it wasn't until Billy came in to check on us that I realised how much time had passed, "Hey Jake, what time is it?"

"About half 11 Bells"

"Already, wow it's late, I best be getting home, Charlie will be worried." Charlie probably wouldn't be worried though, I knew that much.

"You can always stay Bella, don't pretend you don't want to" It was a very convincing offer, "I'll need to ring Charlie to let him know" I could at least pretend Charlie was bothered about me being alone with Jacob. He smiled even wider now, "It's already sorted Bells, Billy rang your Dad about an hour ago" I wasn't expecting that, but it wasn't a problem either. "Oh good, I can't really be bothered to talk to Charlie". We carried on talking until Jacob brought up the subject of _us, _I wasn't aware there was an _us, _but he obviously was. That subject seemed to drag on for hours, all I could really manage were a few nods of the head and some one word answers. It wasn't till I started to yawn that Jacob mentioned anything about sleeping arrangements, "Ummm, I hadn't actually put much thought into _where _you were going to sleep, I was too thrilled that you _were _sleeping."

"Well I can take the floor if you want?"

"No way Bells, what kind of a guy would I be making you sleep on the floor? You can take my bed, I'll stay on the floor."

"No, I can't possibly make you sleep on the floor"

"No Bells, its final, your taking the bed." It occurred to me then, I had nothing to sleep in, "Um, Jake, I have nothing to sleep in" His eyes drifted for a second then he snapped back to reality, "You can borrow one of my shirts if you'd like" I guess I couldn't really say no, "Thanks" he went to his wardrobe and took out a plain black t shirt, "I'll leave the room while you get changed" he walked out the door and next I heard the TV so I guessed he was in the front room. I put his t shirt on, it pretty much buried me, and then walked into the front room. He looked at me and his mouth fell open, he snapped it back shut and spoke, "Are you tired Bells?" I was, "Actually, I am. All this talking has worn me out" He laughed at that and stood up. He walked over to me, took my hand and led me back to his room. I got into his bed while he went to get some sheets for him. When he got back I was drifting off, "Night Bells" but I was too tired to reply. I can't have been asleep long when I woke because the room was still dark. I glanced round and saw Jacob lying on the floor staring at me, "Are you ok Bells?" I felt the cold then, and it made me shudder, "Yer, just cold"

"Sorry Bells I don't have any more spare sheets. You can have these if you want, I'm not cold."

"No, no. It's fine"

"Are you sure? If you really don't want to deprive me of cover I can always get in there with you, I keep telling you I'm very warm" did he actually just ask if he could get into bed with me? He started to sit up then, "Bells?" I didn't know what to say, I was very cold, but I didn't have _that much _self control, I only stored a limited amount. "If you don't answer I'm just gonna get in" I decided maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't _tell _him to get in, so I just let him crawl in next to me. He was very warm. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, this wasn't a good idea, but I was too tired to argue. "Is that better Bells?" It was, "Yes, thank you" I mumbled against his chest. "Night Jacob"

He kissed the top of my head and it sent a spark down my spine. I looked up at him to see he was staring at me again. I could feel his warmth against my bare legs and his breath on my face, I knew I should pull away, but I'd run out of self control, I just wanted him to hold me closer. We looked into each others eyes for what seemed like hours, but was just a matter of minutes. I noticed his face get closer to mine and I didn't think about what I did next. I stretched my neck till my lips met his. His kiss was very soft, I didn't want it to stop, but I knew it would have to eventually. It wasn't like Edwards kisses, this kiss didn't have to stop too soon. It carried on until I had to take a break to breathe. His lips started to explore the rest of my face now, brushing against my cheeks, my forehead, working their way down to my neck. A quite moan escaped my lips and he stopped. He pressed me closer to him and kissed the top of my head, I really wished he'd say something. It took about a minute till he spoke, "Sorry Bells" he whispered, his breath hot on my head, "Sorry?" I was questioning him now, why was he sorry? "Yer, I shouldn't have done that, I just couldn't help myself."

"Don't be sorry Jake" I knew he was right, this was wrong, but I couldn't help myself either, my lips met his again before he had chance to reply, It was more forceful this time, I wanted to enjoy this. He didn't stop this time, he kissed me back with just as much force, it was closer to aggression than pleasure but I knew he was enjoying it just as much as I was, I felt terrible about this, but I wasn't going to start hating myself now. Guilty pleasure, that's all it was. It was me who stopped the kiss, I didn't want to, but my eyes were getting heavier. I yawned and then started to kiss his neck, "Sorry" I breathed. He took a while to reply, but I could here his breath steadying, yep, he enjoyed it. "I love You Bells." Whoa! That I wasn't expecting? This was just a bit of fun, to take my mind off everything, like he said, but he just said he _loves _me. I didn't know what to say, "I love you too Jake" _BIG MISTAKE!!_ "Phew, you had me worried there for a second, I thought I'd just fucked up big time" he chuckled quietly.

"Yeah, sorry about that." What was I _doing?_ I didn't love Jacob, did I? I wasn't about to take it back now, not while I was pressed so close to his body, his arms wrapped round me. "I think I'm gonna get some sleep now." I was tired, he loosened his arms, "Would you like me to move back to the floor?" _No way,_ I thought to myself, this was too good. I pressed my body closer against his and kissed his lips softly before wrapping my arms around him, "No way, I breathed against his chest." He laughed, but didn't argue, he put his arms back around me and pulled me closer, he kissed my forehead and then closed his eyes. "Night Bells"

"Night Jake"


	6. Guilt Without The Pleasure

**Disclaimer: I own my own story again, Woop.**

**I'm not sure why i wrote this chapter.. To give me more thinking time i guess.. But i sure hope its good.. **

**The next chapter should be better, once i finally get it finished =]**

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I woke up to see the sunlight squinting through Jakes curtains. I rolled over to find the bed empty. I sat up and looked around the room, his sheets were gone from the floor and he was nowhere around. I put my head between my knees and breathed, slowly. The guilt was rushing through me, running through my veins like blood as I remembered all of last night's events. How could I have done that? To Jake? _To Edward?_ The tears rolled down my cheeks. I was curled up into a ball when Jacob walked in. He rushed straight to the bed and put his arms round me, "Bella, are you ok? Sorry, I just went to make you breakfast" I steadied my breathing and looked up at his worried expression, I smiled, "I'm fine Jake, sorry about that. Just, stress" _Again_, I thought to myself. "Well, maybe some food will help. You've been asleep for ages."

"Have I?"

"Yep, Its 3 o'clock Bells"

"_Oh my god_. I'm so sorry Jake" I can't believe I'd slept half the day.

"It's fine, you looked adorable sleeping, well, other then the snoring." He laughed at me and I couldn't help but laugh with him. I stood up, making sure I wasn't revealing to much flesh and then followed Jacob to the kitchen where I could smell bacon and eggs cooking. "Hey Billy" I shouted as I walked past the front room.

"Morning Bella. Sleep well?" There was a satisfied tone in his voice that I tried to overlook. "Like a baby" I replied and then carried on to the kitchen. I sat down at the table and Jacob put a plate of bacon, egg and toast in front of me. "Mmm, smells good" It really did. He sat down opposite me. "Are you not having any Jake?"

"I've already eaten Bells, it is 3 remember"

"Oh yeah" I dug in then shovelling in forkfuls. I was hungrier than I thought. Once I'd finished I stood up. "Thanks Jake, I'm gonna go use your bathroom if that's ok?"

"Yeah sure, it's just at the end of the hall"

"Thanks" I went into Jacobs's room to get my clothes, and then went to the bathroom. I got dressed fast, I'd have to face the guilt sometime, and I didn't want it to be here, with Jacob.

I went back to the kitchen to help Jacob clean up but he was already finished. "Thanks again Jacob, but I best be getting home now. Charlie will be wanting dinner"

"Oh yeah, damn Charlie. Will you be back again anytime soon? Do you think they'll let you come back?" I knew who he meant, but I didn't want to think about it. "I'll come back Jake, I promise" And I meant it, I couldn't avoid him now. It wasn't fair. He walked me to my truck with his arm around my waist. He gave me one huge hug before I kissed him on the cheek and jumped into my truck. I said bye to Jacob and waved at Billy who was peering through the window whilst I started my engine, I heard Jacob say he loved me but pretended not too as I drove off.

Charlie was in the front room watching a game when I got in. "Bells, is that you?" Honestly, who else would it be? "Yer Dad, its me" I walked into the room and sat down on the sofa. "Have a good time?"

"Yep, sorry I'm so late, I slept in"

"I know, Jacob rang at about 11 this morning"

"Oh, ok, well I'm off for a shower."

"Oh, by the way, Alice called, she said she needs to talk to you, it sounded important"

"Ok, I best drive up there after dinner"

I knew the guilt was going to catch up. I spent longer than usual in the shower, knowing my coming fate was not pleasant. Once I was sure I wasn't going to break down into hysterics I went back to my room to dry my hair. I put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and went downstairs to cook dinner. Charlie came in before I'd started, "Don't worry about that Bells, I've ordered a pizza. You best go see Alice, she's been ringing all day." I was in so much trouble, "Ok Dad, I shouldn't be too long"

"I won't wait up, this is Alice" he had a point, it was starting to rain when I left. I jumped in my truck and started the engine, the tank was full, that's odd, I could have sworn I was running out. Jacob must have filled it this morning. I pushed the truck to its limit, only able to reach 55 miles and hour. As I turned into the Cullen's drive I started to shake, my nerves getting the better of me. I stopped the truck and jumped out, I walked up the steps to the porch and opened the door not bothering to knock, they'd know I was here. Once I was in the house the door closed behind me, I saw Alice run to me, faster then expected, "Bella!" she screamed. More relieved than angry, shouldn't she be shouting at me? Had I missed something? _It wouldn't be the first time_. "Bella, are you ok? I was so worried. What happened to you, you've been gone since last night." She was _worried? _About me? "Alice, I'm fine, nothing happened to me, I was at Jacobs"

"I know that" If she knew, then what was all this about? "Alice, I'm confused, if you knew where I was why were you so worried?"

"Well when your future just disappeared I'd already guessed where you'd gone. But that's exactly it, your future disappeared, right before my eyes, anything could have happened to you. Did you not think about the danger?" Danger? What danger? "Alice, I really don't understand, I wasn't in any danger"

"Sorry, I've said too much. I was just worried. Edward told me too keep you away from _that_ place, from _him_. He's gonna kill me when he finds out about this."

"Wait a second Alice, why would you need to keep me away from Jacob? I don't understand."

"God Bella! You don't learn do you?! Its just not safe for you ok. I'm not letting you go back there."

"Errm, Alice, how do you plan to stop me?" I was sure I had her on that one, "Oh, you'll see." She stalked off into the other room. Minutes later she came back with a huge smile on her face, she was holding the phone to her ear, "Hello, Charlie?"

"Yes she got here fine."

"Well, i was wondering, would it be ok if Bella stayed here for a few nights? I could really use the company, and it is the holidays."

"Goodie. Esme will come round to get some stuff for her. Thanks so much Charlie"

"Yes I will don't worry, I think we might do some shopping."

"Alright, cya Charlie." She put the phone down and looked at me. I turned to walk out teh door but she grabbed me before i even reached it, she pulled me into the living room and sat me down on the couch, "_I can't believe you Alice, _you're _kidnapping _me now!"

"Oh quit moaning Bella, it's for your own good. And it'll be fun, i promise" Yeah, coz i was going to believe _that. _

"Kidnapped by vampires, now _that _would sell papers" Alice looked angry now, "Bella just shut up! Anyone would think we were going to torture you. Edward will be back in 2 days, and then you can go back home." Wait, did she just say 2 _days_? " 2 days? I thought he was gone for 2 weeks?" Alice smiled now, probably glad my voice was back to normal, "Their plans changed and so they can come home earlier" She sounded satisfied with herself now, "Oh, well, ok then" and with that the conversation was over. It was getting dark outside when my eyes started to get heavy, Alice and Rosalie had gone to hunt and so it was just me and Esme, "Errm, Esme?"

"Yes Bella?"

"I'm getting a bit tired"

"Oh yes love, your in Edwards room." She got up from the couch and led me up the stairs. She opened the door to Edwards room and there in the middle of his room was a huge soft white bed" My mouth fell open, "Esme, what's this?"

"Edward didn't want you to be uncomfortable love" Edward did this? He knew i would be kidnapped and put on house arrest, here, at _his _house. "Edward knew i'd be here?"

"Yes love, he seems to be aware of your intentions before you are" Well that figured, he could probably tell by this mornings emotional breakdown.

"Ok" I didn't mean to be rude to Esme, but I was just so angry, "Bella, love, don't be angry at him. He's just trying to keep you safe, he can't bare to lose you." Well, i couldn't argue with that, and i couldn't be annoyed at Esme, she clearly had my best intentions at heart, "I guess I understand, well, I'll see you in the morning"

"Night Bella"

Once the door was closed and i was sure Esme was downstairs i took a pillow and the cover from the bed and went to the couch, best interests or not, i was going to sleep in the bed he bought soley for my kidnap.

I glanced at the clock beside me, 2.00am. I had no idea how long i'd been asleep, but i didn't want to sleep again"

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	7. If You Can Sleep Topless, So Can I

**Disclaimer: I do own Twilight on DVD =]**

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I sat up to look around the room and realised I had much more space then when I'd first gone to bed. I felt around me and realised I was sat up in the middle of a big white bed. Someone must have moved me. _Alice_.

So what choices did I have? I could go back to sleep. _Ha. _I could go downstairs. _Ha ha_. Or, I could sneak out, my truck was just outside and Alice hadn't thought to take my keys. Well, that looked like my best option.

I threw my rucksack over my shoulder and climbed down the guttering outside Edwards's room. I wasn't totally sure of myself, sneaking away from vampires was much more difficult then sneaking away from your Dad. Once my feet touched the ground I ran to my truck and started it up. Knowing Alice would soon be after me if not already I hit the gas and pushed my truck to its limit. Once I got onto the main road I knew where I was heading. Jacobs. I slowed my engine a bit so I could think. _Could I go to Jacobs? Should I? _But I was already on my way. Alice would know exactly where I was going now. _Would she follow me? _Concentrating on the road rather than my thoughts my heart skipped a beat. There, in my rear-view mirror, was a shiny silver Volvo. I couldn't tell if it was Edward driving it, but I began to sweat all the same. I put my foot down until my truck screeched in protest. The Volvos headlights disappeared as they turned down a side road.

Jacob was on the porch waiting for me when I arrived. He must have known I was coming. _Odd._ He was there already when I pulled up, "Hey Bells, didn't expect to see you again so soon" he opened the door and grabbed my bag for me. Throwing it over his shoulder we set off up the path, "Are you not pleased to see me Jake?" I put on my best disappointed face and looked straight into his eyes.

"Oh no, of course I'm happy to see _you_"

"Good, because there is no way I'm going back _there_ again" He laughed as if he knew why.

"Well you are welcome here anytime you want. Billy is asleep so we'll have to keep our voices down"

Once we were inside we went straight to his room, "Are you tired Bells?"

"Actually, yeah."

"Well I'll let you get changed, back in a minute, I'm off to get some sheets" I got changed into my sweats and a t-shirt then crawled into Jakes bed, I thought about what I was going to do, I knew it was wrong, but that just made me want it more. A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, "Come in Jake" He looked at me and smiled then laid down some sheets. He sat on the floor, looked at me, cocked his head to one side, and smiled, that huge wide grin I loved. I just laughed and closed my eyes, "Night Jake"

"Night Bells"

Less than 5 minutes later I heard Jacobs faint snoring. _I wonder._

I got out of Jakes bed and crawled under the sheets with him. My hands must have been cold because I felt him wince as I wrapped my arms around him. He rolled over to look at me and I nuzzled my head into his chest, he felt so warm, "It's nice to see you too Bells" I felt his chest shake with laughter, "I was just a bit cold, I could get back in the bed if you'd like". At that moment in time the heat was pulsing through my body, but I did not want to move. He wrapped his arms around me and we talked for hours about everything and anything. He laughed for at least 10 minutes when I told him about my kidnapping. Then he looked at me and his wide grin turned into something slightly less animated, "You're too warm aren't you?" It was true, the sheen of sweat on my forehead made it obvious, but I had a plan. "I am, but it's fine, I'll just have to take more clothes off" His mouth dropped open and I just laughed, _this could be fun_. I threw back the covers and sat up, "If you can sleep topless, so can I" I watched him stare, mouth open, as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I kissed both his cheeks and then all the way down to his chin before crawling back under the sheets. His mouth snapped shut and he wriggled down to join me. "I think I saw a plane fly in then ya know" His cheeks went red and all I could do was laugh, "Yeah, sorry about that Bells"

"It's fine Jake, don't worry" I wrapped my arms around his body and pulled him closer, our bare chests pressing together. He gasped and then brought his face to mine. He stared into my eyes as our lips interlocked. His kiss was soft, his tongue slowly brushed the inside of my mouth as his hands stroked down my back. I let out a quiet moan as he pulled me tight against his body. His brought his lips away from mine and kissed down my neck. He kissed every inch of my upper body, from my neck down to my waist, stopping when he reached my sweats. His lips worked there way back up my body, brushing lightly against my skin till they were locked with mine again. His hands stroked my sides, till they rested on my waist. His thump brushed just under the waist band on my sweats sending a shiver up my spine. My breathing sped up and I let out a small gasp. Jake pulled his hand back up to my face and his lips broke away from mine. He leaned back to look at my face, "Are you ok Bells?" So much went through my head all at once I forgot how to breath, I snapped out of it when I saw Jakes expression become more anxious, "Yeah Jake I'm fine" it was barely more than a whisper, my throat felt like sand paper.

"You sure Bells? You don't sound fine"

"I really am fine, I think I could do with some water though, please." I was in desperate need of some form of fluid other than Jake's saliva.

"Sure Bells, I'll go get you some." He got up and walked to the door, turning to look at me before he left, "Don't go anywhere" I managed to choke out a laugh, "Like I would Jake" He looked so perfect stood there in nothing but his boxers, I wasn't about to walk out on _that_.

Jakes short absence was long enough for a million different thoughts to go through my head. What would Alice and Edward think of me? I knew Alice couldn't _see _me, but would she know anyway? Would they all know what a horrible person I was? They all showed me nothing but love, ad here I was, dismissing it completely an a few hours of madness. _Was it madness?_ I knew I was doing wrong, but something was keeping me here, I _couldn't leave. _Was it the love I saw in Jake's eyes, he looked at me with such adoration, it was difficult to resist. Or was it my pure selfish lust for him? I loved Jake, truly, but I loved Edward too, more. I was just so selfish, I couldn't possibly choose, I didn't _want _to choose. This was pure selfishness. I wanted them both so badly.

The door handle interrupted my thoughts as Jake walked in with a glass of water, he sat down next to me on the floor and handed me the drink, I drank it all without taking a breath, "You really were thirsty weren't you Bells"

"I guess so"

"Errm Bells?" He looked uncomfortable, but there was more love in his eyes now than there had been all night, "Yes Jake?"

"It doesn't matter"

"You sure?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Yeah it can wait. Are you tired Bells?"

"I am actually, would you like me to get back into the bed or do you mind if I stay here?" I really didn't want to sleep on my own.

"Well, the floor must be uncomfortable" He must have noticed my face drop because he stuttered the end of his sentence rather quickly, "So you can get into the bed and I'll join you there, if you'd like"

"I suppose that is a good idea, come on then" I grabbed his hand and walked over to the bed. I got under the covers and Jacob slipped his arms around me and pulled me close, "Night Bells"

"Night Jake" I couldn't help but think there was something else he wanted to say, but maybe, I didn't want to know what it was.


	8. I Sure Didn't See That One Coming

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I also do not own bacon and eggs.. But they are so tasty don't ya think.**

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I rolled over to find the space next to me empty, so Jake must be up already. I sat up to look around the room. The sheets weren't on the floor anymore and I could see the dust floating in the suns rays peeking through the window. Hearing a muffled voice coming from the kitchen I laid back down to listen, it was Jakes voice, shouting? I listened closer; he was on the phone, arguing with someone. It wasn't till I heard my voice mentioned that I realised he was arguing about _me. _

"I can't exactly help it can I _leech_" I heard him say. Oh god, he was arguing with Edward, I concentrated much harder now, trying to understand what I was hearing.

"And what exactly can you suggest then?"

"Nothing, that's what I thought. So maybe we should just let her choose. You can't exactly make her choose you."

"You know I can't just tell her that, just like you couldn't tell her _your _little secret"

"Well fine then." He must have hung up the phone because I heard footsteps across the hall. So they _were _keeping something from me. I heard the door handle rattle and closed my eyes, something tells me _I _wasn't supposed to hear _that _conversation, even if I did only ear one side of it. Jake sat on the bed and stroked my hair; I pretended to sleep for a few minutes before rolling over and opening my eyes. Jake smiled at me, that big grin I loved, _my _smile, "Morning beautiful"

"Your not too bad yourself" He really didn't look that bed, he must have had a shower at some point because I could smell the soap. "I've made you breakfast, bacon and eggs again, I hope you're hungry" I was quite hungry.

"Is it ok if I use your shower first Jake?" I definitely needed a good wash before I left this house. "Course you can Bells, there are towels in the bathroom and I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything" He winked at me then left the room.

I must have spent a good thirty minutes in the shower, trying to decipher the one sided argument I'd just heard. I couldn't make any sense of it, what couldn't Jake tell me? Eventually I emerged from the shower; I got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and went into the kitchen, my hair still wet. Jake was at the hob, obviously heating my breakfast and Billy was sat in the front room, "Hey Billy" I waved as I walked past, "Nice to see you again Bella" I walked into the kitchen and my breakfast was on the table now. "Mmmm, looks good Jake" I ate a forkful, "Tastes good too" It really did.

"Thanks, I am quite the chef" he laughed at himself and then sat down beside me. "Did you sleep well then?"

"Very well thanks"

"Good, you weren't too warm then?"

"Not that I know of" I'd finished my bacon eggs by now. Jake took my plate away then walked back over to me, "I'll be one second" He walked off to his room and came back with my bag. He took my hand and led me to the front door, "I'll be back later Dad" he shouted over his shoulder and then we were out the door. "Jake, where are we going?"

"To the beach, I just need to talk to you" We walked the rest of the way in silence, this was obviously the same thing as last night, maybe I _needed _t hear it, even if I didn't want too. Once we were at the beach he sat down at a familiar driftwood tree, I sat next to him, "What is it Jake?" I was worried now, what could be so important?

"Bella, you know how the _Cullen's _have a 'secret' that they can't tell anyone"

"Yes"

"Well I have one too, and it means I can't see you for a while Bells" The tears didn't even build up, they just poured out, "How long is a while?" I managed to choke out between sobs, "Well I'm not really sure Bells, it depends on you I guess. Please don't cry Bella. I love you" I calmed down a bit, "What do you mean it depends on me?"

"Well, this secret, I can't _tell _you, but you could _guess_"

"How can I guess Jake if I don't even know what your talking about?"

"Remember them stories I told you, that night you came here with your friends" I remembered one story, but I was sure that wasn't the right one. "You need to think Bella, please, you've got to work this out." I heard his phone vibrate in his pocket, he answered, his voice cold, "Yes ok, five minutes" he snapped the phone shut and grabbed my hands, "I know you can do this Bella, I know you can"

"What if I can't Jake?"

"You can, trust me, you just need to think, think really hard. Edwards waiting for you just down the road, I can walk with you if you want."

"Maybe it's best if ii go on my own" I heard them argue over the phone, I was in no mood to witness it right before my eyes. "Yeah, your probably right" He stood up, pulling me up into a huge bear hug, I really didn't want to leave, but I knew I had to. "I'll seen you soon Bella, I know you can figure this out"

"I'll try Jake" I gave him one last kiss, picked up my bag, and then walked off up the road. I broke down just before I reached Edwards Volvo. I sat there in the middle of the road unable to move. I felt Edwards's hands around me and then I was on the back seat of his Volvo. He stopped the car, at his house I guessed, and carried me inside. He sat down on the sofa and I curled up on his lap and cried.

I must have been like that for hours because once the tears had drained from my eyes I could see the dark sky through the windows. I looked around me to see the room was empty, except for Alice sitting at the foot of the stairs. I looked up at Edward. His expression was torn, what did I do? How could I be so stupid? "I'm so sorry Edward." All I could manage was a whisper, but I knew he could hear me. It wasn't Edward who replied though; Alice was at my side now, stroking my hand, "Bella, what on Earth are you sorry for?"

"Because I'm a terrible person. I'm so selfish and stupid. I'm so sorry"

"Bella, none of this was your fault. We don't blame you."

"B-But, don't you know what I've done? How selfish and awful I've been" it was Edward who spoke now, "Bella, we know everything, we know more than you, and none of us blame you"

"But why? I want you to blame me. I feel terrible. What I've done is terrible"

"Because we understand Bella" they both spoke at the same time.

"It's impossible to resist that kind of adoration Bella, it's even more than I could give you, it's in his blood to love _you _that much. And you have no control over the effect it has on you Bella. We couldn't possibly blame you for that Bella" What did they mean; it's in his blood to love me that much? "I, I don't understand Edward"

"No, you won't, not yet. Jacob was right; you need to work out his _secret. _But we can't help you Bella. You've got to do this on your own." Everyone else walked in the room then, Rosalie walked in first, she actually smiled at me. Esme walked straight to the sofa. She sat next to me and pulled me onto her lap, "Don't worry love, everything will be ok, we promise" I watched Edward get up and walked to the window, he just stared out to the trees. Seeing his reflection in the window I started to sob again. His face was so torn. How could he not blame me? _This_ _was all my fault. _I felt Esme pull me closer and Alice's hand rested on my shoulder, but no Edward.

That was it. I was going to fix this. I pulled away from Esme and stood up, Edward turned to face me and I looked around the room. "Just stay here until I come back down, please" Everyone just stared at me, bewildered expressions on their faces. I walked towards the stairs and went up to Edward's room. I sat on the bed in the middle of his room and thought, really hard. My head went back to that night, when I walked on the beach with Jake, I remembered his story about the Cullen's being the _cold ones_. But that was all I could remember. I laid down and eventually rifted off, it must have been morning when I woke up because the light was streaming through the window. Then I remembered, my dream. I was walking through the woods, alone. Then I saw Edward, he was glistening in the sunlight, his hand outstretched towards me. I tried to walk towards him but something was stopping me, I turned around and Jake was stood staring at me. Nothing but love in his eyes. But then he was gone, and in his place, a giant, russet coloured wolf.

I jumped off the bed and ran down the stairs. I ran straight out the door before anyone had the chance to speak. Edward was already in my truck. He didn't say anything. "I have to see Jake."

"I know." His words were cold, did he blame me? Was last night just an act?

"I love you Edward" His expression changed then. It was much softer now, I could see the love in his eyes again. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, I should have been there for you, and I wasn't. I love you. I always will"

"I know Edward, now it's me who understands" He just laughed, "Listen, Edward, I've got to see Jake, but, I promise you I will come back"

"Ok" and with that, he was gone.


	9. Complications

**Disclaimer: I do not own werewolves**

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I didn't pull up outside Jakes, I needed to think. I didn't even know what I was going to say. Was I just supposed to waltz in and say, "So, you're a wolf?" There was one thought in the back of mind that I just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge; was Jacob responsible for the missing hikers? I jumped out my truck and paced up the street towards Jacobs, the fresh air cleared my head, if only a little bit.

Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door and waited, when it was Billy who answered I let out a sigh of relief. "Is Jake in?"

"Sorry Bella, he went out, you can come in and wait for him if you'd like, he shouldn't be long." He seemed sincere but I didn't fancy going inside, "No Billy its ok, I think I need a walk. I'll be at the beach"

"Oh, yes, I understand, I'll make sure he comes to see you as soon as he's back."

"Thanks Billy, Cya"

Hours seemed to pass as I paced every stretch of the beach. When Jake finally showed up I was curled up on the roots of mine and Jakes tree. "Hey Bells" he looked so normal, stood there in shorts, how could Jake, _my _Jake, be a wolf? "I'm sorry Bells, I didn't choose this, its just who I am."

"I know Jake, I just, I'm so confused. I don't understand, you look so normal, how can you be, well, a, a wolf?" He sat down next to me and pulled me onto his lap. "Well, it's not easy to explain, it's kind of like shape-shifting I guess, I can just, change into one" I kind of understood, "Jake, what about those hikers? In the woods, please say that's nothing to do with you." I don't think I could stay here if it was.

"Oh no Bella. I need to explain a lot to you. You see, there are 5 of us now, me, Jared, Sam, Paul and Quil. Our kind are not here to harm humans, we are here to protect them."

"From who"

"Who do you think?" _Vampires. _I understood now, the coldness in Jakes and Edwards voices.

"Oh, so a vampire's responsible for the hikers?"

"Yes Bella, we're trying to catch her, but she keeps running away, crossing the boundary line, we can't get to her"

"Catch her? Why would you want to catch her? And what do you mean by boundary line?" Why would they want to catch someone who is killing so many? "To kill her Bella, that's what we do, we have to kill vampires; we're the only ones who can. But she keeps crossing the line, you see Bella, us and the Cullens have a treaty, remember? I told you. If they come onto our land, we kill them, if we go onto theirs, they kill us. And she keeps going onto their land. We can't get to her there" I couldn't speak, my whole world had just collapsed in front of me, my boyfriend and my best friend, wanted to _kill_ each other. They _could _kill each other. I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't even want to think. I just wanted it all to go away. "Bella, Bella? Are you ok?" Jacob was shaking me. "Yes, yes I'm fine"

"I'm sorry Bella, I never meant to bring any of this on you."

"Its fine Jake, it's just a lot to take in all at once"

"Yes, I understand that. Do you want to come back to mine? Or have they given you a curfew now?" I really hated it when his voice was that cold, that's wasn't _my _Jacob, "Sorry Jake, I told them I'd get back"

"Oh yeah, well, ok." He stood up and pulled me into his arms. 5 minutes felt like forever in Jake's arms. I didn't want to leave, but I had to. "Errm, Bella, can I just say one more thing before you go"

"Su..." My words were interrupted by an engine revving down the road. "Never mind Bells, will you come back again?"

"Of course I will Jake. Just maybe not today, yeah. Cya" I left his arms and walked down the road, towards the 'boundary line' and I didn't have to wait long to know who was revving there engine, Edward was sat in his Volvo, parked next to the trees. He got out his car and stood in front of it, his hand outstretched towards me. I put my hand in his and wrapped my other arm around his body, "I love you Edward"

"I love you too Bella, _my _Bella" He pulled me into the car with him, his hand not leaving mine the whole ride back to his house. Walking into his house seemed like such a blur, I could feel the tears coming back, everyone was there, Rosalie, Emmet, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice. "She's going to cry in 36 seconds so I think it best if everyone leave" Alice explained as I sat down on the couch. Edward sat next to me, his arm tight around my waist. I watched everyone leave, except for Alice, who sat on the other side of me. She put my hand in hers and whispered, "Its ok Bella" Then I cried, big choked sobs. I couldn't stop, I wasn't even sure why I was crying, I just was. Edward pulled me closer to him, kissing my hair, "it's alright love. Everything's ok" I knew it was, I just felt so lost. It was almost as if I'd lost my best friend. I knew I hadn't really lost him, but he wouldn't be the same, he wouldn't be _my _Jacob, would he? I managed to slow down my sobs, and breathe a bit calmer, I was calm enough to talk now. I looked at Alice, and then at Edward, "Why didn't you tell me? If you knew all along, why didn't you tell me?" It was Edward who replied, Alice just looked at her feet. "Because Bella, as much as we hate the stupid _dog, _it wasn't our secret to tell_, _you had to work this one out on your own." He turned to Alice, who looked as though she'd be crying, if she _could _cry, "Alice wanted to tell you" She looked up now, "But _they_" aimed at Edward, "wouldn't let me. They said it wasn't fair, on you or the _dog_. You I care about you Bella, but not about the _mut. _I just didn't understand why it was so unfair on you to tell you, you deserved to know, you had a right to know."

"Listen guys, I get it, you don't like Jake. But can you _please _stop calling him a dog" They both looked at me as though I was crazy, "So you haven't heard what they call us then?"

"No I haven't, but if I do I'm sure I'll tell him the same. Because I care about all of you, that includes Jake" They both looked disgusted but agreed to stop, well agreed to try anyway.

After everything was sorted and I was sure I wouldn't cry again I went up to Edwards room and crawled into the bed.

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